<= 2004.09.07

2004.09.09 =>

care to see the wine list?

The milk's gone bad. Ugh. Sadly I ate most of my cereal before realizing this. Hey, I have less than no time for anything, but at least I am getting credentials; by which I mean that there are certain locutions that only academics are allowed to use, and I am earning the right to use them. But why should I be stingy? Especially with the cost of my education, I ought to spread the rewards a bit. Anyone who would like to subsidize part of my tuition is welcome to share its benefits. For your convenience I have prepared an à la carte menu:

The right to...                             Price
use "problematize" in a sentence            $20
declare your blog a "text"                  $35
declare your apartment a "text"             $45
declare your significant other a "text"     $75
declare yourself a reader of said texts     $95
declare yourself a deconstructive reader    $125
problematize your significant other         $225
quote Lacan without provocation             $275
yell at strangers for marginalizing you     $340
snigger at strangers' New Critical          $650
tendencies 
compare strangers to the British Empire     $825
compare your significant other to the       $1000
British Empire
compare your significant other to the       $50,000 plus
British Empire, declare yourself a          4 years
deconstructive reader of Empire, write      indentured
a 200-page thesis on your significant       servitude
other's hegemonic tendencies using quotes
from Lacan, publish in a midsize
journal, go on to a respectable career

NO REFUNDS.

 

<= 2004.09.07

2004.09.09 =>

up (2004.09)

The Warm South
The Roof Rat Review